I am a Bio Weapon and You Are Too
by Living With Morgellons
I used to feel like a walking bio weapon because I have Morgellons. I did a lot worrying because my sister had it years before I did then one day I woke up with all the strange skin manifestations. I had lesions that would not heal and strange fibers and little black flecks come out of the sores and even intact skin. This stuff came out of every part of me. In addition to my sister and I having this condition a very close friend also developed all the itching and then her skin went south too. Right around when all this craziness started I adopted a beautiful healthy young dog. After hanging out with me and in my house for about a year he developed all the too familiar skin problems, itching, lesions and ear and eye infections.
So you can imagine it is easy for me to believe that this thing we call morgellons could be contagious. No one knows for sure but I chose and still choose to ere on the side of caution. It was horrific for me to go through morgellons but if another person or animal I loved (or didn’t even know) got this from me after I knew better but chose to take no precautions, it would be a new level of insult to injury. I quarantined myself and my dog as well as I could. It is a strange thing when you are sick and you know it but the people around you are telling you it is probably in your head. Then when they see your sores they stay away (smart of them), but how can both happen? You say there is nothing wrong with me. You say it is in my head? The Doctor, he says I am delusional and I need medicine for my head, but he tells me all this as he keeps his distance from me in the corner of his office.
One of the first of bio weapon scenarios in history was probably when in medieval times they tossed dead plague victims over city walls of those they were fighting with. I don’t even have to write about our own countries dark history when it comes to using humans and bio contagions with out our consent or knowledge.
There is a lot of talk in the Morgellons community about bio weapons and genetically modified organisms. I am not dismissing any of that but this post is not really about that.
Whether all of the above has any merit or not it is no matter. I still believe I am a bio weapon. You the reader, you’re probably a bio weapon too. We are alive and we destroy. What have you destroyed today? Look around and I know you will find something you’ve annihilated Have you been a positive influence in someones life? Pat yourself on the back because you destroy insecurity. Does your dog wag his tail and make people smile? I think my dog might be one of the most lethal bio weapons around. I know for sure he is a destroyer of loneliness. Loneliness and depression does not have a chance when bunny is in the room.
Now lets talk a little about contagion. I remember how angry I was when that doctor stood in the corner and told me there was nothing wrong with me. The nurse walked in and almost fell backwards after she got a look at my face and backed up real quick! I don’t think I gave them anything but I know for a fact I caught something from them. I caught that doctors bad attitude and I caught the nurses fear. I walked out of that office angry and afraid. Late in my illness I was also reinfected again by some of the treatment from family members. I was a walking time bomb. Thankfully I was able to defuse myself. I was also able to recover from the highly infective rage that seems to be going around. I do find that the sadness I acquired has been especially tenacious and difficult to eradicate. I don’t know if it will ever completely leave so I do a lot in the way of maintenance. I spend time in nature, I respond to kind people and I pet my dog.
To be clear I will say again, you are very much a bio weapon. Everything we say, do and believe has power to lay siege, for good or for bad, and everyday you have the power to be the antidote for yourself and your world. This is not all hippy dippy love stuff I am talking about. While it can have much love in it, you need some fierce soldier like qualities. Guard your thoughts. Fear is an especially dangerous, relentless and contagious infection. It frequently tries to get back into your life. The good news is that after a little practice you can build an immunity of sorts to it.
While you might not be able to get away from trying family situations it is important to make yourself as stress free as possible. If you have someone or something in your life that causes you stress you need to separate yourself from it. Whether it is a lamp that keeps breaking or a stressful person. You might not be able to get rid of the person but you can try and protect yourself mentally. Guard your self as well as you can. It really will help to expedite your healing journey. Morgellons is sort of like New York, if you can make it there you can make it anywhere.
What kinds of things are some of you doing to try and keep your stress down? Sometimes when I have had it I simply go on youtube and put “talking dogs and cats” in the search. It’s funny stuff.