Independence Day

by Living With Morgellons

I am feeling especially free today.  Today, July 4th 2012 marks one solid year of my ” plaque skin” being gone.  It has been 19 months since my last lesion / cyst went away ( the “big one” over my right eye). Just before that  in November 2010 was my very last emergency room visit / hospitalization (when they surgically removed the cysts off my hip).  It is interesting to note that  this was my worst skin manifestation ever and also my second to last in this whole Morgellons business of healing. I was thrilled when they cut that thing out of me.  I actually was crying when they wheeled me to the surgery (tears of joy). I had tears  not just because I was in  serious pain and anticipating it soon would be over but I was also feeling so grateful that I  was finally being treated like a decent human being. When the hospital attendant saw I was crying a bit he asked me if i was ok. I said pretty adamantly “I’m awesome!”.

The last of my symptoms like the fatigue, neurological symptoms,  whistling in my ears, tooth pain,muscle pain, Gi  issues and sinus and respiratory issue had been dwindling since even before my skin started to heal. They would go away then flare then go away. They really were the last to leave  (they were the first to come though). These non skin symptoms flared to an all-time high last Nov. 2011 at the start of my lyme treatment (I am working on a separate post covering my lyme treatment).  They came back fast and hard  (especially my neuro symptoms) for about a month then waxed and waned for a couple of months.  By january 1st 2012 the worst  and even the non worst of everything was over. Today I can officially and gratefully report 7 months of complete recovery (symptom free). I just realized I am grinning right now. Sometimes when I revisit aspects of my recovery I shed a tear or two. So the fact that I can smile today tells me I am digesting the trauma better.

You might notice I talk  about the trauma aspect of morgellons a lot. For me it was the worst symptom (is trauma a symptom??).  It was the most painful part and the most difficult to overcome. I am working on it though.

Note:  I post aspects of my recovery,  time frames etc, for those of you that are still in the heat of the worst of morgellons and might be finding that hope is hard to find or hope is hard to hold.   If you wake up one day and believe you have lost hope I am here to tell you that you have not. You have only misplaced it and will find it again. I know you have not lost hope or else you would not be reading this.