The Other Side of Morgellons

"I'm just getting started"

Month: March, 2012

my dear immune system

my dear immune system, hey killer, i have been thinking a lot about you. did you get the packages i sent you? the food? the supplements? i know you appreciated the sunshine today. i know you have been under siege really .so i have been doing everything i can from my side to help with the battle. i even try and imagine what being on the front of the enemy lines looks like. i envision you in my minds eye doing all that ass kicking you do. your such a toughy like that. i try and not worry about about you because i KNOW you are a fighter but often i hope i am doing enough so you feel loved and supported. when you are feeling overwhelmed and compromised i hope you know that i am here and i am your biggest supporter. how could i not be? you saved my life a million times. i just wanted to tell you something ok…i want to tell you that you are stronger than you will ever know. yes, you are a trained , killing fighting machine. it’s what you do but i know you have feelings too and i know this war, well, it’s been a long time huh! but the enemies are retreating things are already better (thanks to you). there will always be little battles. there always have been. thats cake walk speed for you. keep your eyes open for the probiotics i just sent. also i will make sure you get some whey and that kyolic 103 you love so much. i ate sauerkraut and thought of you. all rightly you i will talk to you very soon. love you bruiser, tina


thought you might like this video… …..i guess because you have had it so tough but you just keep going like the kid in the video does. like the woman says about this boy “….no matter how hard he has had it he passionately runs towards want he wants”


Morgellons? Lyme Disease? Curry Up and Take This Medicine!

Yesterday my friend in the United Kingdom sent me a link regarding morgellons sufferers and mustard powder. It sounds like mustard powder is helping with the skin manifestations. My skin is looking pretty good these days but needing mustard powder is a good excuse to go the Indian store. Plus I do get itchy here and there. The thought of going to the Indian store makes me really happy because I associate it with curry and I associate curry with the trip I took back to the land of the living.

There might be something to this mustard thing here’s why I say this.  Several years ago when I moved back to London I was very sick. I still had a lot of skin issues. For months I ate curry at least three times a week (there’s a curry place on every corner in London). I craved curry. The more I ate it the better I felt.  As I ate it more and  I could feel my bones getting better.  It helped my pain. It breathed a life back into me. I have found that with morgellons if it works topically it works better internally. Like coconut oil. or silver or MSM.  Even now as I made curry for dinner I feel uplifted and rejuvenated.  Curry is not one spice but rather a blend of many spices. There are a million kinds of ways to do curry.  The variation’s are endless. Not just in the spice blend but with or without meat or fish or veg., You can eat it over rice or as soup. You can curry anything.

If we start to really look at the spices involved in curry blends you can not help but notice these are medicinal herbs . All of them.  From turmeric to coriander (cilantro) to garlic to chilies to cumin to fenugreek to ginger to mustard.

After I read the email my friend sent me about mustard I went in my kitchen and started looking at my can’s of curry blends and sure enough  one of blends I often use has mustard in it. it’s called “Bolst’s” hot curry powder. Here’s a picture (and apologies for the lousy quality from my cell phone camera)


another blend i like is a madras curry powder. it’s called “Green Label Ship”. here’s a photo of the can:


There are lot’s of blends of curry powder at the Indian store. Or you can buy the herbs individually and blend your own. I keep cans of coconut milk and the already blended cans in my kitchen.  I make this super simple coconut curry sauce that takes about five minutes. The brown rice is the only thing that takes time. If I only had one medicine to take for my Lyme and Morgellons symptoms or if I had to tell someone the food that I felt was the best medicine . I would without a doubt,  and hands down say curry. It is pure natural medicine in a can.  The herbs are truly medicinal.  The Indian culture, food, and medicine has been around a long, long time.  They’ve had some time to work out the kinks. Also you can never beat the price.  My can’s of curry run me around 3 or 4 bucks.

If you want to try making a fast simple coconut curry you can first get your brown rice going.  About 15 or 20 minutes later grab a pan and put about two tablespoons ghee in to start but you can also use coconut oil (often I use both). From each of the cans which I showed you from above I put 2 heaping tablespoons of powder.  That’s 4 tablespoons curry powder total.  I add that to the hot ghee cook about a minute then add a can of coconut milk. Stir that in about a minute then turn off the heat and add ! or 2 tablespoons coconut oil. That’s it. It’s done. I’m not kidding. It’s good too. I told you less than five minutes. You might just love this sauce. You can add any meat or veg to it or do what I did tonight.  I took the sauce only and put it on brown rice added some fresh cilantro and ate it right over the pot.  I won’t even bother taking my supplements tonight because I had them for dinner. It makes a lot of sense to start eating your medicine if you are dealing with chronic illness. It makes a lot of sense to start eating your medicine if you don’t want to deal with a chronic illness.

Tonight at the Indian store I was noticing how healthy all the people there look. Beautiful skin and hair. This guy didn’t look so hot though:


I know i know I’m so funny huh!    If you’re in Los Angeles and looking for the best Indian store experience go to “India Sweet and Spice”. There’s one in Los Feliz  and one in west Los Angeles.  The store rocks.  I just went to my little store up the street tonight.  The store is called “Aladdin’s” and it is on Vermont between 1st and 3rd.  Here are some photos. Also again I apologize for the poor quality of my photo’s. It’s funny because photography (pre Morgellon’s and Lyme) was something of a hobby of mine.  I’ll get back to it though. There’s lot’s of life and time and people to meet and places to go left inside of me.

You know those crazy healthy zillion year old yogi guy’s. This is what they eat:


It’s like a quick trip to another land.


morgellons disease and my small vote

so of course for lunch today i had a fabulous grass fed meat loaf sandwich. as i marvel over this wonderful food (the taste omg) i also have to marvel over the fact that i had to  to really search this meat out..track it down to a health food store and pay a pretty penny at that. also why do i have to go all the way to pasadena to buy non genetically modified corn tortillas for a dang taco?  i will tell you why because i vote with my dollars. it is the only true vote i have. it’s a small vote but if i cast my vote long enough. dollar by dollar hopefully real food that is clean and nutritious for me to eat will be a reality that i and everyone can enjoy everyday. can you imagine just going to the market and buying food off the shelf for a fair price that is not full of crap.  you know peru is supposed to be some kind of third world country. meanwhile they just passed a revolutionary new law banning genetically modified food for the next ten years. there is nothing third world about that!

it is hard and expensive to eat eat well. you have to keep your eyes on every last thing you eat.  if you eat in america you are eating gmo food. period. from the canola oil in the mayo on your sandwich to the corn syrup that laces so many foods. i do not have any answers. just small votes. i do know that i don’t want to eat agrobacterium for lunch. i don’t want to be sick or look like this…..

yes that was me two years ago. add to that unimaginable pain and fatigue and complete refusal from the medical community to be treated. disgusting i know and i might have just permanetally ruined your appetites. did agrobaterium do this to me. i don’t know. no one knows for sure what causes morgellons but we will never know as long as we accept bogus studies from the center of disease control telling us this disease is all in our heads. or sun just damage. please. until there is sincere research morgellons disease is on the loose. your children are vulnerable. you are vulnerable. your dogs and your horses are vulnerable. people are suffering terrifying symptoms. they are being ignored by the medical community. lives and families are being destroyed and meanwhile until it hits your family you might be buying the  crap that is being dished out daily. not just in the poison you eat but that morgellons disease does not exist. if it feels like i went on a rant or went off topic then you must have missed the part about health and happiness in the title because no one can have happiness when they have to deal with morgellons disease. remember, doctors can’t treat a disease that does not exist. until the hearts and the minds of the people understand that morgellons disease is a world wide reality the suffering and horror will continue.  i had to think twice before posting this. this is because the morgellons community is walking a fine line and looking as delusional as they are being told they are. honestly though, i would feel delusional if i did not speak the truth. if i just got my health back and pretended like this disease did not ravage my life or if i just walked away and tried to forget about the others that have not been as lucky as me ( i have someone that cared enough about me to pay a fortune for my medical care) i promise i will not post any more disgusting photos and i also promise i will cast my little vote everyday.

a dinner date, good bye morgellons hello sunshine

so tonight is a celebration.  it has been a twisty scary uphill road and i finally can see and feel the light that was turned out seemly overnight.  when i got on this road there was no sign saying “you are now entering morgellons and lyme country”.  there was also no sign saying “brace yourself for a world of hurt”. not just physical but the shock of how i would be treated by doctors,  friends and even my family.

as i shopped today i realized i am better. a lot better. even the trauma has subsided.  the scars will always be… both figuratively and literally. morgellons  ravaged my once very nice skin. it also chewed my heart to pieces.  also somewhere in the battle i got old. i turn 47 next month. the last birthday i remember being well was my 40th.

tonight  i am in los angeles and my rock, my love, and biggest fan in is ireland. so tonight’s post is a transatlantic, celebratory, world wide web dinner date. not long ago tom mentioned that i never wear red lipstick anymore.  i told him that my skin is so scarred now i don’t want to draw anymore attention to my face.  well tonight i put lipstick on and i also made a beautiful meal.

so onto the food. firstly i bought grass fed organic ground beef today.  the first time i ate grass fed beef was years ago in oregon. this hippy argentine guy brought it over to our house. he was really happy about it. he went on to prepare these steaks simply and beautifully with cracked pepper and course sea salt that sort of exploded in your mouth as you ate this gourgous meat. it’s just delicious i can not find the words.  it makes me think of galileo and when he said that “wine is sunshine held together by water”.  today i thought of course, it’s perfect. the grass eats the sun, the cow eats the grass i eat the cow and we all ate the sun.  we truly are not exactly what we eat but as it is said “you are what the animal eats is”. it is sad to think think about what animals have to eat today. humans included.

i wish i could have photographed tonights dinner with something other than my camera phone because it was truly beautiful. in loving memory of my sweet aunt mary i made her “italian french frys”.  i peeled russet potatoes and tossed them with olive oil,  fresh rosemary, garlic, salt and cracked pepper. i put these in the oven at 400 and went on to prepare the rest of the meal. i made a raddichio and lacinato kale salad.  both italian lovelies.


from wickpedia….

 “Lacinato kale has dark blue-green leaves, with an “embossed texture”; its taste is described as “slightly sweeter and more delicate … than curly kale.”[5] Because of its taste, “slightly bitter [and] earthy”,[6] it has been called “the darling of the culinary world”.

i tossed the salad with olive oil, lemon, garlic and added some sugar plum tomatoes and put it the fridge to chill while i prepared the grass fed beef into an herb filled meatloaf. here is a photo.


for the mesatloaf i blended the grass fed beef with a quarter cup ground flax seed, a half bunch minced italian parsley, a half bunch minced cilantro, about five cloves minced garlic, four minced green onions, olive oil, one egg, cracked pepper and salt. molded it into a loaf on a baking sheet and baked about a half hour at 350. here’s a photo..again i have to say it does it no justice. this is not your average meatloaf.  a photo….


so i am happy and stuffed and here is the movie to complete the dinner date .good night world.

broiled salmon with my favorite topping

these days most fish sort of scares me. i used to love eating sushi but i would just as soon poke my own eyes out then eat raw fish again. once in japan a very cool and gifted sushi chef was showing off for me. he told me a bit about this and that. you know sushi stuff. well one of the things he told me..rather showed me was not so awesome. if you love sushi and want to continue eating it stop reading now. he showed me how the raw fish has worms in it and proceeded to demonstrate how they cut them out. he showed me the worms in a fish. he told me they all had worms. great. no sushi for me. even cooked you can’t cook out pollution and mercury.  the one fish i do eat and very much enjoy is alaskan wild caught salmon. apparently it is on the very low mercury risk list according to the 2007  report by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), on  evaluation of seafood  mercury safety  the following fish can be founds in the very low risk category:

 Wild-caught Alaskan and Pacific Coast salmon, Pacific scallops, shrimp, oysters, clams, mussels, herring, and anchovies.  

ok enough boring stuff because i want to tell you about  a delicious and spicy salmon i love to make and eat. it’s pretty simple. the sauce takes a few steps but i will also give you a cheater version because this blog is supposed to be easy to make nutrious food for people on the mend.  basically it’s just broiled salmon. don’t broil the salmon until you finish the sauce. the first sauce is the long version. it’s not long per se it’s just not as simple as the quirky cheater sauce. it is however far superior in flavor. it is also spicy. if you don’t like it hot you can pull back on the jalepeno or even leave it out.

you are first going to roast  8 or tomatillos and 2 jalapeños. you can do this on your stove top if you have a gas range. (take the outside leaves off of the tomatillos)

place the tomatillos and jalapeños directly on the burner grate. arrange them in such a way they won’t fall into the stove. turn the heat on high and with tongs turn them as the flame gives a nice kind of char to them. don’t torch them. you are just looking for a nice roast. here some photos so you have an ideaImageImage

after you get a nice roast on them you will need to finish them off in the oven.  the flame was just for the nice roast on them. pt them in a bowl and drizzle s bit of olive oil on them. put them on a baking sheet and in the oven at 350 for 20 to 25 minutes. pull them out and seed the jalepenos. just hold the chili in your hand and grasp the stem with your other thumb and kind of pull down.  oh ya heres a picture of what they should look like when you pull them out.


in a pot put the cooked tomatillos and both jalapenos if you like it hot, one if you like it warm, none if you can not handle the heat. keep in mind however chili peppers are excellent for you. also jalapenos are a pretty hot pepper when raw but cooked and seeded takes much of the heat out. most people think of jalapenos as this real hot pepper but cooked they really mellow out and aside from the hotness they have a really good flavor. even if you don’t like spicy things try just adding a bit into this sauce because they truly add a nice taste. you want them all smashed up. the tomatillos will break down easily, the jarpenos need a little a little smashing up. turn the flame to medium and add about two tablespoons of olive oil,  and also of water add some salt and pepper and let it cook down for about 15 minutes.

now chop up let’s  say about a half of a bunch of cilantro and dice two roma tomatoes. set these aside these will not be cooked.  now broil your salmon.  dry the salmon off and coat lightly ghee if you have it or the type the will go on an adventure to find it.  it’s worth it.  basically it;s clarified butter and it has a lovely nutty flavor. you can get it at an indian store or online.  there is no cream in it so it’s great for broiling (it won’t burn before the fish cooks where butter will). if you don’t have ghee use olive oil.  put the salmon in the pre heated broiler. basic rule of thumb is 10 minutes per inch of salmon. if your using fillets remember they are usually less than and inch so maybe do 4 minutes on each side.  when i buy my salmon i like to get this brand called Kroger. it’s a good sized bag of individually wrapped wild caught salmon fillets. nice little portions and you cn pull out what you need. they thaw in minutes under cold running water.

now get turn the heat up on your sauce and even though you have olive oil in it already put a couple slices of butter into the pot. trust me it adds a  richness that works well with this sauce. let the sauce get real hot and stir the butter in. remove from heat and squeeze the juice of about three limes into to the pot. if you hate squeezing limes use the juice of one large lemon. now mix in the raw cilantro and tomato. plate your fish and top with sauce. it’s spicy and tangy and only slightly rich from the butter.  here is a picture of the finished productImage

n this photo i used dill because i was out of cilantro. however i encourage you to use cilantro. not only for the flavor but the health benefits. you will start to notice (if you follow this blog) i use a lot of cilantro. i almost eat it everyday. i do this as part of my ongoing neuro toxin detox. cilantro has an amazing ability to mobilize mercury. it is actually one of the best ways. while on the subject i would just like to add that you might want to consider taking chorella as well as it will carry the murcury out of your gut. if there is noting in the gut to carry it out it will be reabsorbed. if this is something you are interested you can go to where he posts his neurotoxin detox protocol.  it mainly involves cilantro and chorella. in his posted protocol he says to use cilantro tinter but i have heard him say that fresh organic cilantro is actually better.

one of the the better things i did for my health was to start and keep on detoxing. when i started getting really sick my brain turned to mush. i lost things. i forgot how to spell words that were once so easy to me. numbers seemed to look the same, like at times i could not tell the difference between an 8 or a 3. seriously, i spelled my own last name wrong once.  i had experienced an erratic personality change. i was easily frustrated. could not focus. had trouble talking, writing..communicating in general. also extreme anxiety. i am amazed at the dramatic change that has come about as i continue to detox. this is an issue with lyme and morgellons patients. mold and metal have some kind of crazy relationship.  i had no idea how incapacitated i was until after the detoxing pulled some of the neuritics out of me. i look back and think oh my god..who was that?  i am so happy that my brain is coming back. not that it was anything that awesome but it’s nice not to get lost in your own neighborhood.  goodnight everyone and happy eating and healing to you.

oh i almost forgot the quirky cheater version..just open a can of salsa verde, jazz it up still with the olive oil, butter, lemon and raw cilantro and diced tomato. it’s good..just not as good as the made from scratch.

happiness is immune support

i had dinner at my peruvian  friends house. her step father is the cook in the house and he is cuban. i have been isolated and really focused on keeping my meds straight, diet right and gulping down my supplements. it was nice to get out of my box of a studio apartment  here in los angeles (temporary digs while treating for lyme and morgellons with a doc in san diego).

most of the dinner had things i usually won’t eat. i ate it and loved it though. he cooked pork shoulder all day at 275.he stuffed it with  plenty of garlic, oregano and bitter orange. it was delicious. it was served with white rice and yucca. the rice and the yucca are not in my diet these days. but as i sat with this family eating and and trying out bits of my mucho mal  spanish, i was happy and i realized that there is much more to healing than being diligent. you have to be happy. your immune system needs to know you are happy, it works better that way. after dinner i had ice cream.

when you go on a healing journey you can get the best doctor and the best medicine take the right supplements and keep a stellar diet and take excersise but we can’t forget why we are doing all this. it is for our life, to get healthy so we can enjoy living again.

plus all of the above is not what is going to escort the offending pathogens out. not really it is only an aid and it will be your immune that ultimately restores your health. happy people have robust immune systems. this is a well known fact.

going through something like lyme treatment is grueling and if you have morgellons as well thats a whole new kind of nether hell. when treating for lyme you are sick a lot of the time. often patients have iv lines or like me give themselves intramusclar shots. often in lyme and morgellons our symptoms get worse before they get better. you have to be tough. you have to keep up on the latest research. it is a lot of work. it is practically a career keeping your meds, supplements and diet going. of course we are trying to do the best we can to achieve every lyme and morgellons patients dream, to put those bugs to bed once and for all and do it right so they dont  pop up again only to make you as sick or sicker than you were before. to make this dream a reality we also do a lot of immune support. tonight i did some good immune support. i sat with a family and ate food. i enjoyed it. i did not worry about the carbs and starch in the white rice and yucca or the dairy in the ice cream. i sat in her back yard and enjoyed her garden. she offered me an adult beverage and i drank it (i am not on flagyl right now and in between antbiotics). i felt happy not to worry for a while and my immune system knows it. i feel great. i am not suggesting anyone go out and eat crap and have a cocktail i am just reminding myself that my life does not start after i get well. my life is now.

tomorrow i will not starve

i was just settling into bed thinking about my big day tomorrow. i have a an appointment with my lyme doc in san diego. getting there is an all day affair and quite a jaunt getting there. i still have fatigue issues and some cognitive and neurological problems here and there. so i try and plan everything to the t as to avoid any undue stress as it seems to set things off in me.

i was just laying down thinking of what i missed or have forgotten for my trip.  i have to get to union station. i usually take the metro. then it is almost a three hour train ride. after that i get off the train and jump on the trolley which takes me to santee my ultimate destination.  last time i couldn’t find anything to eat.  there were only a bunch of fast food places. so i got up and real quick made myself something i could bring with me to eat. i grilled some chicken and diced that, then added steamed broccoli, walnuts, and red grapes. i tossed that with fresh cilantro, olive oil, fresh squeezed lemon, cracked pepper and salt. chilled it and put it in a lunch bag for tomorrow.  it’s a tasty and substantial lunch salad. plus there is lot’s left over to snack on. it is also easy to pack. i am glad i remembered to make a bag lunch because it is hard to find something decent to eat when you are on the fly. so for you health conscious brown baggers this might be a on the go lunch option for you too. here is a picture.    Image

sorry about the poor quality of my photos. i have been using my phone to snap photos and it does not have a flash. i will have to do something about that. because the food looks a lot better then it does in the photos.  well i better hit the sack. i have a big long day tomorrow.  for all you lyme heads and morgies i will give an update on my meds after my appointment tomorrow. woof..i better get to sleep.night night everyone.

chicken again?

yes. i had some chicken left over from dinner last night and i just made a nice little lunch with it.  diced the chicken added some fresh dill mixed in a little vegenasise. i put that on a slice of toasted Ezekiel bread (flour less and organic and delicious). i topped that with alfalfa sprouts and avocado then had some fresh papaya on the side.    Image

I’m Eating Sweet Potato Custard As I Write This

It’s good. Real good. I am so serious.

This is how I made it.

Earlier I baked 7 sweet potatoes. Chilled them and then took the skins off and put them in  a bowl.

I added one can of coconut milk,

half cup raw honey,

4 eggs,

one teaspoon powdered ginger,

2 teaspoons cinnamon,

a dash of nutmeg and a dash of powdered clove.

I whisked that mixture and baked it at 375 for 45 minutes.

I chilled it and garnished it with strawberries.

So thats dessert. You don’t really taste the coconut milk at all.

It really tastes like a good sweet potato pie. While it’s cooking the house smells like thanksgiving. My dog sat by the oven and stood guard. He knew there was something good in there. I  have a porcelain pot and that’s what I mixed and baked the custard in. So no big clean up here. Happy eating. With love, Tina

Herbed Chicken on a Bed of Raw Veggies

Here is what I made for dinner tonight  and this is how I made it.

Chop the following:


Chinese broccoli (or any green)


7  cloves of garlic

Fresh rosemary

In a pan add olive oil and half of the garlic.

Get this hot and add chicken pieces.

Add a bit of the chopped cilantro and all of the rosemary.

Salt and crack pepper cover and cook on medium flame.

Now for your bed of veggies put them on a plate (along with the remaining raw chopped garlic) and squeeze a half of a large lemon on it and then drizzle olive oil on it. Add salt and cracked pepper.

I also added roasted salted pumpkin seeds to mine. Toss this mixture.

Now check your chicken. Turn it and push it around a little to get the garlic and herbs nice and infused.

Depending on the size of your chicken pieces it should take less than ten minutes.

I buy whole chickens and have the butcher cut it up into 11 or so pieces so they are small and they cook faster.

When your chicken is nice and crispy, turn the heat off and let it sit for a few minutes.

Now put the chicken and herbs on your bed of veggies and your done!

You could make some brown rice if you want more carbs (though lentils are probably a better choice).

Today I  made a sweet potato custard for dessert and in the  next post I will tell you how to make the custard.  It is so easy and you’ll love it and yay it is wheat, dairy and refined suger free.